/_\

It's been almost 2 months I've graduated from Advanced Diploma.
Also 2 months of sitting at home doing online assignments, working from home, becoming a filial daughter for accompanying my parents to places, and going out on a random basis but definitely not spending on anything except uh well, food. I'm trying to save for my coming months, you see.

At times, I've been wondering why did I chose to go Liverpool anyways because the assignments and due dates are disastrous. Why can't I just go get a job instead of furthering my studies oh well it's a degree paper but damn it, so many complicationssss!!! :( I was thinking whether are all these worth it? Am I gonna get a decent job with expected pay?

So in the end I went to jobs seeking websites hahahaha *bored
And most jobs related to broadcast media and productions, they only pay 1300MYR to 1800MYR.
WTF.
How am I gonna survive like this? And I'm very sure these jobs are pretty hectic and tiring; it drains out physical energy. I'm serious wtf. Lesson learnt during internship :/

Fine. So I went over to PR&Marketing jobs.
FML The starting pay are 2000MYR to 3000MYR.
I should've major in PR 4 years back!!

Anyways I can always switch because they're Mass Comm too :P

Sigh. Not gonna think anymore not like I can apply for the job now.
It's so difficult to look for a job I really like :/

Dear baby aviator. We love you :"(

R.I.P our Porsche aviator.

It was my first present for taisiu 

:((

Lost it afterwards. 

We're very sure we didn't misplace it. For sure it has been pick-pocketed. 

And funny it was hanging right in front of my chest. 

Screw you, anyone who took it. 

You will pay. 

I miss the sunnies :((((

Third eye.

I'm learning to 'see' with the heart, instead of using eyes. Apparently, it wasn't easy to see beyond the superficial. At times it got me thinking, what have I been doing to people who're being so nice to me, and how can I really repay them, or at least tell them how I felt about them without jabbing the awkwardness between the lines I structured? I scribbled and I erased, I wrote and I rephrase. It's really hard to express how I really felt about these people. Guessed being an Asian really means that we should keep our feelings to ourselves, we weren't taught how to show affection to people we love. Therefore not knowing how to react, or probably we're just 死爱面子。

I'm not a person who pours all my heart out telling how I feel about you because I don't really show it in my actions. So please tell me that you felt my love when you really feel it okay :')

I'll be really glad to hear that. #LGMH

(unless I really never felt the need to love you or something wtf)

Corny dog.

Ladies and gentlemen, 

I hereby present...

The first ever food that taisiu prepared for me!!

Cheesy coney dog with extra cheese extra mayonnaise extra barbecue sauce lololol

yippee

NO MORE SWOLLEN MONOCHEEKKK!!

(my left cheek btw although it's covered by my hair but I swear it wasn't a straight line due to the swell!!)

I can't do a proper smile because the stitches are binding my gums and cheek together,

although most of it has been coming off already wtf.

Uh, I took some pictures of my swollen face but it's not obvious in picture! 

So I deleted them all. Unless you wanna see bloody teeth, I have that one! XD

It was so swollen I can't wash my face, my brother had to call me fatty, and my mom stared at my swell every morning and giving me a funny expression.

But it's over nao!

Gonna remove my stitching next Monday!

Then I wouldn't need to spend 30 minutes cleaning my teeth.

orz

I'm dying.

Fuck this pain.

So uhm...I'm staring at this pic to distract me :(

蒙古包 ［天香回味］

Aftermath

I have no choice but I had to blog about this horrible experience of wisdom tooth surgery!! At first I thought it's no biggie since I've been through dental surgery before this. But believe me this is not joke. And f the dentist's life because I kept on swearing at him and I will never go back that place for any checkups anymore pfffttt. No pictures because it's too explicit and gruesome. So, here goes:

Day 1:
The first few hours was fine since I was still on anesthetic. But once the anesthetic went off, the pain is super unbearable and I actually teared to bed for nap :'( Slept the pain away wuwuwu
Moral of the story: Always take the medication before the anesthetic worn out so there will be no 'time-gap' for the gums to be left undrugged.
The bleeding didn't stop. But it was severe, until late evening/night, the bleeding got worsen. I bleed every half a minute and it was so much I had to spit it out a few times, rinse if off, and then sat for a while before it bleed again. Repeat process. I placed cotton balls in between my jaws and all of them were quickly soaked in around half an hour. As if it's wasn't that bad yet, my blood were all clotted and gooey wtf and it's so gross I can literally see my blood sticking between the upper and lower jaw fml so gross I wanna die.
The bleeding didn't stop til my bed time and I was too tired to bother so I went to sleep with a bigger cotton ball in my mouth. Tried using sugar and ice before sleeping but I guess it didn't work....

because...

I choked myself awake with my own blood in my throat. I remember waking up a few times and actually swallow it :s yucckkkkkkk and it tasted really super bad and disgusting wtf I don't even dare to drink or eat because of the taste and smell :( It was too much. Like swallowing a gulp of blood.
So I went to toilet and spit the blood in my basin, looked in the mirror. And one of my cheek has blood stain the size of my palm -_________- ......

Shit.
Went to check my pillow right away.
YES I WAS RIGHT.
MY PILLOW CASE AND THE PILLOW AS WELL, ARE STAINED WITH ANOTHER PALMSIZE OF BLOOD.
So I wokeup after sleeping for 4 hours, spitting blood, cleaning my bloodstained face, and also washing my pillow and pillow case. FUCKMYLIFEEEEEEE!!! T______________T

Sigh.

Sat on the bed while holding my paperbin, I was literally spitting blood for the rest of the hour, wondering what should I do now. I didn't sleep because I don't wanna choke on my own blood again.
bbm taisiu and Whatsapp bestie to complain about it and boy it's a good thing that she's a night owl. She googled solution for me and it bloody works magically! omoooo mon ami~! xoxo
Stayed awake until 10am the next day before I went back to sleep. This time, a comfy sleep and no more blood! YAY!


For a split second I thought I'm gonna die of losing too much blood wtf


Day 2:
Had ice bag by my cheek while waiting for the drug to work on me (before I went to bed again at 10am). Just because my face is now swollen at a side. Oh and I got mad at my brother because he said I looked exactly like how I was 10 years back; a fatass. Fucks. zzzz.
No more bleeding, the pain was tolerable. Taisiu visited in the evening and we went out for monthsary dinner. I actually changed my hair parting and sprayed it just because I wanted to cover my swell LOL bimbotic! But it conceals well la hehehaha. Was happy and forgotten about the pain because I've been locking myself at home thanks to all these crazy dental surgeries wuwuwu :(
Came home early and no bleeding as well :) Happy happy.

Day 3:
Woke up having a square face on the left. The usual shape on the right. Seems like the swell got bigger.
Fts. My upper teeth is actually poking the side of my cheek in my mouth and that's what causing the pain wtf had milo ais to comfort self :(


Sigh.

Let all this be over quickly for good.

Teethless

Since my usual dentist is not giving me a discount (kiam wtf), my parents suggested we should go for another dentist and the clinic is located in a very 'ap tap' place =_= At least for me, and I kinda have some culture shock over there wtf.

So initially I planned to just get consultation from the dentist first before doing any hasty move. But apparently he only charge RM400 and dad said "Just do it!". And so, I had my second extraction today. Not the normal one, it's the surgery to extract the distorted wisdom tooth. The process took only 30 minutes lol but I've endure the real experience of horrible dental surgery. Well, it's not the extraction that hurts me. It's the dentist pulling and tugging my cheek, and I got poked on my cheek, and the nurse place suction too deep in my throat and I choked wtf. The rubber used to keep my mouth open was too big for me and he kept pushing it in although I told him it hurts T_T I did surgery in my usual dentist and he's way more gentle T_T When I complain to my dad, he told me "Of course, this is cheaper and if you want good service, you gotta pay another RM250+ for service charge."

..........oklor..........

:(

To be fair to him, despite he's been hurting me and the service is wayyyy different from the usual, I'd have to say he's quite fast in doing his job. That explains why is he 'not gentle'!

The anesthetic is not gone yet. I'm biting an oversized cotton. Stitching is still bleeding and yes I bleed a lot. So now I have double chin on my left side.

LOL

And I'm supposed to feast tomorrow and the following day.

orz

edit//


THE PAIN IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE ONCE THE ANESTHETIC WENT OFF ! !!!!!!!!1111

Toothless

I've always hate visiting the dentist because it means getting my bloody money sucked by dentists.
I'm sorry if it offended any dentists but yes dental surgeries are very expensive! After years of not visiting the dentists, I finally had to get my first wisdom tooth extraction today. If it didn't broke into half I wouldn't even bothered going there seriously. Geez.
I was expecting 2 teeth to be extracted. But little do I expect, the dentist told me there's a total of 4 to be removed if I want to clear all the flaws in my set of teeth D:

Each tooth costs RM120. FTW.
Did an x-ray scan. RM90. FTW
Gotten bad news of having to extract a side-way-grown wisdom tooth through surgery. Estimation of RM650-RM850. WTF?
Having to do filling for those affected teeth. RM90.
Cleaning my set of teeth. RM x? (I didn't wanna ask anymore at that point.)

An image I googled. Similar to my case.

So the bloody tooth grew sideways and it's trapping food in the gapssss!

fuckthisshit. why is this happening to me :(

why won't you just grow straight-up and I'd be less upset having to pay that much for that bloody surgery!

I'm repeating the word 'bloody' cos I've seen a lot of blood today and I've suck a lot of my blood too even when I'm drinking water :( My bleeding did not stop until 5 hours later wtf no wonder my dad told me I looked like I'm having period in my mouth fml

It was quite painful and I was emotionally down for no reason until I fell asleep wtf.
I feel like I've lost something from my own body lol

Caramel frap delivery from taisiu and mom cooked my favourite pork+yam+steamed peanut combi for dinner and it totally changed my idea of just drinking milo ais and throw myself in my bed.

Question of the day:

Why is it called 'wisdom tooth' when it is totally useless and we don't use wisdom tooth to chew?

:(

fts. just when I'm trying very hard to save more and spend less, shit happens.

I'm now going through emotional and financial break down.
I wanna win some lotteries. It's okay if it's not first prize sigh.
Not like I buy lottery.

fmlmax.